I Hate This Part
by SummerW
Summary: Dean tells Lavender that he's not going back for their 7th year at Hogwarts. Songfic challenge for VictoriaRoseForever on HPFC. Dean x Lavender.


Written for **VictoriaRoseForever **on the _Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges _forum for the _500 songs_ challenge.  
**Song: **I Hate This Part by the Pussycat Dolls.  
**Pairing: **Dean Thomas and Lavender Brown  
**Genre: **Romance.  
**Set: **Late August between HBP and DH.  
**Summary: **Dean tells Lavender that he can't go back to Hogwarts.

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**I Hate This Part**

_We're driving slow through the snow on fifth avenue  
__And right now radio's all that we can hear__  
Now we ain't talked since we left, it's so overdue  
It's cold outside but between us it's worse in here_

Dean stared out the windshield, eyes following the wipers as they swept across the screen, dragging away the tiny droplets. He could see her in the corner of his eye, wringing her hands and shifting in the seat. He wasn't sure if it was the situation they were in, or the fact that this was her first ever car ride, that was making her uncomfortable. She winced as a loud, over-bearing song came on the radio, filling the car with a strange rhythm. He smiled and fiddled with a knob on the machine - she still wasn't used to muggle music.

He pulled the car over onto a little country lane which looked like it hadn't been used in a hundred years. He cut the engine, pulled the keys out and took a deep breath. He turned in the seat so he was facing her.

_The world slows down  
But my heart beats fast right now  
I know this is the part  
Where the end starts_

He gazed at her for a minute while she openly avoided his eyes. He sighed silently, cursing himself. How was he supposed to do this?

"Lavender…" he started but trailed off. He groaned to himself. This was going to be even harder than he thought.

_I hate this part right here_

"_Dean_." she replied before he could continue. He could tell that she was trying to be tough because of the sarcastic and nasty tone she had used. But he could see past her words.

_I hate this part right here_

"Lavender, I-"

"Oh just hurry up and say it! You're wasting my time!" she exclaimed, her voice shaking slightly. He squeezed his eyes together tightly and leaned back into his seat. He wished it could all go away, that this didn't have to happen, but he knew that that was an impossible dream.

"Say what?"

There was nothing to be heard in the car for a couple moments apart from the radio. Finally she spoke.

"That you're leaving me." she whispered. He barely heard her over the music.

He turned his head so he could see her. Her eyes were shut and tears were flowing fast down her face. He didn't answer.

"Please don't." she said, choking over the tears. She was sobbing heavily now, making Dean feel even worse.

_I just can't take your tears_

"Lavender, I have to. Believe me if I didn't, I wouldn't be doing this. I can't go back there." He said, reaching over to brush away her tears. She swatted his hand away.

"And what are you going to do Dean? What are you supposed to do?" she retorted angrily folding her arms across herself.

_I hate this part right here_

"What else do you want me to do? If I go back there, I'm dead! Don't you understand that? Or maybe that's what you want."

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore. Take me home."

"No." he answered firmly. This was his last chance, their last chance.

"Take me _home,_ Dean!" she repeated, trying to stop herself from crying.

"I can't Lavender. Please, you have to understand."

"And what if I don't?"

He didn't reply.

_I know you'll ask me to hold on  
And carry on like nothing's wrong  
But there is no more time for lies_  
'_Cause I see sunset in your eyes_

"Can't you just pretend? Find some way to come back?" she asked, a desperate plea entering her voice. He felt his heart tear.

"Haven't you heard the latest? They want proof of your wizarding heritage." he told her bitterly, looking back out the window.

"But, but, your dad."

"What about him?"

"Wasn't he a wizard?"

"Even if he was, I can't prove it. Look Lavender, your lucky. Hogwarts will be one of the safest places in the world. Not like it used to be, but at least there are good wizards and witches there who can help you. Forget about me and go back."

"But what are you going to do?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"_Dean_."

_I don't wanna try now  
All that's left's goodbye to  
Find a way that I can tell you_

She was staring at him now but he kept on avoiding looking at her. He just couldn't do this.

"What are you going to do?" she asked again, only this time her voice was stronger. The tears had finally stopped.

"I'll cope."

"You don't know that."

"Well Lavender your doing a great job on my confidence right now!" he yelled, finally turning to look at her. She bit her lip and sank back into her seat, making him immediately feel guilty.

They had come remarkably close in the last few months, after break ups for each of them. At first, he would never had considered dating her - she was an unbearable, squealing _thing_ who had dated his room mate. But then they had got to know each other and after the death of Dumbledore, they had both grown up a lot. Things had changed and over the summer, they had become inseparable. And now, he was paying the price for getting involved when he knew he shouldn't have.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I should be sorry."

Once again, their silence filled the car, tension building between them. Right now, Dean would have given anything to lean over and kiss her, but he knew he couldn't.

_I gotta do it _

_I gotta do it _

_I gotta do it_

_I hate this part_

"Lavender, _please_ promise me that you'll go back and take care of yourself."

She stared at him a little longer. "Only if you promise me that you'll come back to me when this is all over."

"I promise." he said, voice breaking. "I promise I'll come back to you."

She sniffed quietly. "Then I promise I'll go. Please please _please _be safe Dean. I don't know what I'd do without you."

He smiled sadly. "Guess that makes two of us."

Stretching across the seat, he pecked her lightly on the cheek, causing her to smile too.

"I love you Dean."

"I love you too Brownie."

_I hate this part right here_

_I hate this part right here_

_I just can't take your tears_

_I hate this part right here.

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_**A/N: **_Thanks for reading! _  
_


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